How to Write a Eulogy: A Simple Guide with Examples

Written by Gift of Grace Funerals · Published 1 September 2026 · 10 min read

Being asked to write a eulogy is an honour, but it can also feel like a heavy task when you are grieving. You don't need to be a writer or a confident speaker to do it well. This guide walks you through how to write a eulogy step by step, gives you a simple structure to follow, and shares short eulogy examples to help you find your own words.

What is a eulogy?

A eulogy is a speech given at a funeral or memorial service that honours the person who has died and shares what their life meant to the people who loved them. It is usually given by a family member or close friend, and there can be more than one.

A eulogy is not a full biography and it doesn't need to be perfect. Its purpose is to help everyone remember the person as they were. A few honest, heartfelt stories will mean far more than a long list of achievements.

How to write a eulogy, step by step

The easiest way to write a eulogy is to gather memories first, choose the few that matter most, then shape them into a short speech with a clear beginning, middle and end. These steps break the process into manageable pieces.

1. Check the practical details first

Ask your funeral director or celebrant how long you have to speak and whether anyone else is giving a tribute, so you can agree who covers what.

2. Gather memories from family and friends

Talk to people who knew them at different stages of life, and jot down everything, even small things. Useful questions include:

• What would they say or do that nobody else would?
• What did they love doing, and what did they care about most?
• What did they teach you, or what will you miss most?

3. Note the key facts of their life

Write down the basics: where they were born and grew up, their family, their work and the places that shaped them. You won't use all of it, but it gives your eulogy a backbone. Check names and dates with family.

4. Choose a theme or two or three stories

Ask yourself: what was the heart of this person? Perhaps generosity, a love of the ocean, or a stubborn streak everyone adored. Pick two or three stories that show that quality rather than just describing it.

5. Write a first draft, then step away

Write the way you talk, using short sentences and everyday words. Don't worry about getting it right the first time. Put the draft aside for a few hours, then read it again with fresh eyes.

6. Read it aloud and trim

Reading aloud is the best way to find sentences that are awkward to say. Time yourself and cut anything that doesn't add to the picture of the person. Ask a close family member to read it too, to check nothing will hurt or surprise anyone.

A simple eulogy structure you can follow

A simple eulogy has four parts: an opening that introduces you, a short life story, the qualities and memories that made them special, and a closing farewell. You can use this as a template and fill in your own words.

1. Opening (a few sentences). Introduce yourself and your relationship to the person. "My name is Sarah, and I'm Joan's eldest granddaughter." You might thank everyone for coming.
2. Their life story (about a quarter of your time). A brief outline of where they came from, their family, their work and the big chapters of their life.
3. Who they were (the heart of the eulogy). Your two or three stories, their personality, their passions, the things they always said, and what they meant to you and to others.
4. Closing (a few sentences). A final thought, what you will carry with you, and a goodbye. Some people end with a short poem or a simple "Thank you, Dad. We love you."

Eulogy examples to inspire you

These short eulogy examples are fictional and written for illustration only. Use them for tone and structure, then fill in your own memories.

Eulogy example for a mother

"Mum was never one for fuss. If you turned up at her door, you were fed, whether you were hungry or not. I don't think a single visitor left her kitchen without a container of leftovers and a reminder to bring the container back. She raised four of us on not very much, and somehow we never felt we went without. What I'll remember most is her laugh, loud and sudden, usually at her own jokes. She taught me that you look after people first and worry about the rest later. Mum, thank you for every meal, every phone call and every container. We'll bring them back, I promise."

Eulogy example for a grandfather

"Pop spent most Saturday mornings in his shed, and if you were a grandchild, you were welcome as long as you held the torch steady and didn't touch the good screwdriver. In that shed he fixed bikes, built cubby houses and once, memorably, tried to repair a toaster that never worked again. He wasn't a man of many words, but he showed up for every school concert and every footy game, sitting in the same spot with his thermos. He taught us that patience and a bit of wire can fix most things. Pop, the shed is quiet now, but we'll keep the torch steady."

Eulogy example for a friend

"I met Daniel on our first day of uni, when he asked to borrow a pen and then kept it for twelve years. That was Dan: generous with everything except stationery. He was the friend who answered the phone at two in the morning, who remembered your kids' birthdays and who could turn a flat tyre on a road trip into the best story of the weekend. He made every room warmer just by walking into it. Dan, I'll miss our long talks and your terrible playlists. You can keep the pen, mate."

How long should a eulogy be?

Most eulogies run for about three to five minutes, which is usually enough time to share a life outline and a few good stories. Always check with your funeral director or celebrant, as the time allowed depends on the venue booking and how many people are speaking.

Read yours aloud at a calm, steady pace and time it. Most people speak more slowly at a funeral than they expect, so it is better to be a little short than to run over.

Tips for delivering a eulogy

You don't need to be a polished speaker. People at a funeral are on your side, and sincerity matters more than performance. These tips can help on the day:

• Print it in large type with plenty of space between lines, and number the pages. Avoid reading from a phone if you can, as the screen can lock or dim.
• Practise several times, ideally out loud to someone you trust.
• Go slowly, and mark places to pause and breathe. Keep water and a tissue nearby.
• It's okay to cry. If you need a moment, stop, breathe and carry on when you're ready. Nobody will mind.
• Have a backup reader. Give a copy to a family member or the celebrant, just in case.

What if you can't speak at the funeral?

If you don't feel able to speak, that is completely understandable, and your words can still be part of the farewell.

• Ask someone else to read it. A family member, friend, minister or celebrant can read your words on your behalf. They might begin with "These words were written by Michael, Joan's son."
• Print it in the order of service. Your tribute can be included in the printed booklet so guests can read it and take it home.
• Record it. A pre-recorded tribute can be played if the venue allows it.

If you are still early in the arrangements, our guide to planning a funeral in Perth explains how the service comes together, and you can read more about what a funeral director does.

Can you give a eulogy at a memorial service?

Yes. A eulogy works just as well at a memorial service held days or weeks later. Some families choose a cremation without a service, then gather for a memorial; see our memorial service packages.

Finding the Words That Feel Like Them

A eulogy doesn’t need to be perfect, polished or long. It needs to sound like you and feel like the person you are remembering. Gather a few true stories, follow a simple structure, and speak from the heart.

If emotion takes over on the day, that is completely natural and everyone in the room will understand. Pause, take a breath, and carry on, or let someone you trust finish reading it for you.

Frequently asked questions

Who usually gives the eulogy?

A eulogy is usually given by a close family member or friend, such as a child, partner, sibling or grandchild. There can be more than one speaker, and a celebrant or minister can also deliver a eulogy prepared by the family.

How long should a eulogy be?

Most eulogies run for about three to five minutes. Check the time allowed with your funeral director or celebrant, and time yourself reading it aloud at a slow, steady pace before the day.

What should you not say in a eulogy?

Avoid anything that could hurt or embarrass family members, such as old disputes, private details or jokes that only a few people would understand. If you are unsure about a story, ask a close family member to read your draft first.

Is it okay to use humour in a eulogy?

Yes. Gentle, affectionate humour often helps people remember the person as they really were and can bring comfort. Keep it kind, and balance funny stories with moments of reflection.

What if I get too emotional to finish the eulogy?

Pause, take a breath and have a sip of water, as everyone will understand. It also helps to give a copy to a backup reader, such as a family member or the celebrant, who can step in and finish it for you.